I am horrible at being a consistent blogger, actually, I don't think I can even title myself with "blogger" at this point so I'll just title myself as "teacher who has a lot of funny student moments written in a note on her phone but forgets to actually type them out on a blog for the world to see." There we go, much better.
Since I have not blogged this ENTIRE school year, here is a little update on this year:
1. My students absolutely rock. Yes, they at times make me want to pull my hair out, but I am honestly getting sad thinking about them moving onto 6th grade next year. Insert crying emoji.
2. One of my team members/ mentor teacher from last year moved on to bigger and better things this year (hey Happy :)) so therefore my team gained a new team member (hey Brienna!) and she is a great asset to our team. I thought I was a freak about organization until I met her and now work with her and let's just say she blows me out of the water and I'm totally okay with it ;)
3. STAAR for my students (reading) is in two school weeks and I'm glad to have already experienced it last year and know how it works and what to expect so it makes it less terrifying.
4. Not being a "first year teacher" anymore (not that I'm by any means a veteran with my second year status) is really great. I, of course, am still learning new things practically every day, but it's definitely nice to feel like I actually know what I am doing this year...to an extent ;)
Alright, alright, enough about me...here are some funny moments I have had written down in my trusty "blog" note on my phone that I am now going to type out for your anxious eyes to read:
1. At the beginning of the year, I was wearing a floral shirt (can't even recall what shirt it was at this point..) and one of my students who doesn't have a mean bone in her body turned to me in my floral shirt and said "my grandma has a dress that looks JUST like that!" Grandma: 1 Me: 0
2. I was walking down the hallway after school got out one day and there were some of my students hanging out in the hallway because they are in the after school program and they were saying "Ms. Crabtree! Hi! Hi Ms. Crabtree!" and since at this point all I want is to indulge in silence not having to talk to 10 year olds until school started again the next morning, I held up a peace sign. You know, as if to say "sup" but not having to actually use my vocal chords? Well, I underestimated their generation and one of my students replied with "Why are you holding up a #2?" Ms. Crabtree: 1 5th Graders: 0
3. Conversation with one of my students after lunch one day: "Ms. Crabtree, my stomach hurts from eating the tacos at lunch today. I can't even stand up straight!"
4. After telling my students they are still little kids despite what they think, one of them responds with "Ms. Crabtree I am not little. I have an Instagram!" This, my friends, is the next generation of world leaders. Let us all pray for them.
5. I saw one of my students from last year walking in the hall during the day headed to the office with her backpack so I asked her "Are you going home?" to which she replied "Yes, I'm constipated." Glad to know they feel comfortable enough with me to flat out tell me stuff like that without even a hint of pause before answering.
6. We were doing a poetry lesson a few months ago and students had to write down lines such as "I am good at playing basketball" but instead of using words such as "good" or "great" (because that is B to the ORING) I had them choose words that were more exciting. One student called out and said "can we use 'swagtastic' as a describing word?" to which I replied with adding it to my Microsoft Word dictionary because let's be real, if "selfie" made it into the dictionary in 2014, what's to say "swagtastic" won't be in 2015? Now my students like to refer to me as "Ms. Swagtastic" every once and a while and I ain't mad bout it.
7. We give "marks" for students not behaving responsibly or if they don't have their homework turned in on time and since our school wears uniforms, we sometimes give out marks for not having their shirts tucked in. So, one day, one of my students shows up to school with her shirt untucked and immediately says: "Ms. Crabtree PLEASE don't give me a mark for my shirt not being tucked in. I literally can't tuck my shirt in because my new pants were dirty so I'm wearing my pants from last year and they are too small and I can barely even move."
8. Conversation in the hallway with one of my hilarious students from last year moments after the dismissal bell rang:
Student: Ms. Crabtree!! Can I share a pickup line with you?!
Me: Um, actually, no.
Student: Our love is like diarrhea, it never stops!!
Me: ...............
9. Conversation after not allowing my student to read a book in my classroom library that I deemed too inappropriate for a 10 year old to read:
Me: You can't read it, it's inappropriate.
Student: What?! I watch the tv show Dallas!
Me: ................
10. My students were writing informational papers about a body system/body organ earlier this year and I always tell them to come up with a creative title before turning it in. So, these two girls who were researching the eyes created a title that said "The Wet Balls Between the Eyes"...I kindly told them to rethink their title....insert monkey with hands over its mouth, eyes, and ears emoji here.
As you can see, despite my blogging failure, the good times keep on rolling with 5th graders and there is literally never a dull moment with a bunch of 10 and 11 year olds packed 25 deep into one classroom.
Until next time blog readers!
Teacher out,
Ms. Crabtree
